Fifty years ago I went out to the tennis courts to give the game a try. When I came back home and looked in the mirror I saw the names "Dunlop", "Wilson", "Penn" and "Spalding" all over my face, back, arms, legs and chest. I'm sure I hit the ball with the racket once or twice but the whelps and black writing all over my body was evidence that this was not my sport. I promised Jesus if he'd help me find my right cuspid and restore the sight to my left eye, I would never "do" tennis again. Now 50 years, 255 days, 13 hours, 15 minutes and 3 seconds later, I decided I had to go back on the tennis courts one more time, not to play, but to do "research" so I could answer the question most often asked by new Pickleball players, "George, is Pickleball something like tennis?"
I was amazed at the difference right off the bat. First, did you know people dress up to go play tennis? The girls even wear dresses. They're precious little teeny-tiny things, shorter than short shorts, and every single one of the outfits match! It's a social event out there for the color coordinated tennis player who likes to wear teeny-tiny clothes. Dress someone like that and put them on the Pickleball courts and all play would come to a roaring halt. Listen to this; the guys on the tennis courts wear shirts with collars. I'm not lying! These freshly starched-ironed shirts even have all their buttons on them. Shazam! If I show up on the Pickleball courts in a shirt turned right side out that has fewer than two holes in it and shorts that haven't faded two shades lighter, I'm overdressed. So, as far as "dress codes" are concerned, tennis and Pickleball are nothing alike.
Guess what? There's next to no one on the tennis courts even when they are "full ". Two tennis courts take up the same amount of space as six Pickleball courts but there can be as few as four people on both tennis courts and they play for hours. Find just four people on the Pickleball courts and you can bet its pouring down rain and in the middle of the night. "Tennis" people don't even talk to each when they play. They're a quite tribe of dressed up folks who begin the game with the word "Love" and then talk in numbers the rest of the day. "Pickleball" people act as if they haven't spoken to anyone in years and can't wait to get to the courts so they can talk constantly. So, once again, tennis and Pickleball are nothing alike.
Pickleball paddles have gentle names like "Elites" and "Champions". Tennis rackets have names like "Terminator" and "Beast Buster". Can you imagine handing your tennis racket to your sweet dawling grandchild and saying "Here my precious angel, take my Beast Buster out and play with it". The poor child would have nightmares for years and never want to come back to "Grandma's" house again.
Finally, I want to go back and visit with those gals in their teeny-tiny tennis dresses for a minute and warn you about something. After watching them play tennis for just a short period of time, I made up my mind that the only way I'd play tennis with these gals is if I wore rubber gloves. These girls actually lift up their teeny-tiny dresses and pull balls out from Lord only knows where and expect the other players to use them. You'd never see a nice Pickleball-playing gal stuff pickleballs down her sweat pants and pull'um out later and put'um to use.
No sir, tennis and Pickleball are nothing alike and for that I say, "Thank you Jesus."
C U on D Courts..George Brewer
|
